Saturday, December 11, 2010

Play to be a good Venusian...will i?

In the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" ...i learned dat man cope wit problems in different way than woman does.i learned dat woman and man tend to and most likely "does" intepret each other words to a totally different meaning. i also learned that i shud give "time" and "space" for him to "breathe". this is my biggest weakness. i jus cannot accept the fact dat he loves to see me happy wit my own life when he's not around. wat i had in my mind is dat i could be and actually real happy just when he's around. i just cant separate him apart from whatever i do everyday..kind of obsess right??heheh..well, dis is me (wat u expect??..hehe)

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....honestly,,,im not happy dat im too obsessed to him..dat's no good..for some reasons, definitely..

He is "man dat goes wit da flow" heart just like suddely STOP beating, and broke to pieces whenever he said dat..i guess..and definitely sure every woman would feels da same when someone we love (so much) honestly said that he jus go wot da flow..if i want to flow his flow, than our relationship is safe, if im about to follow my own "flow",then, he would jus go wit his own. doesnt me got some meaning to him??not even a bit?

i donno wat others will do if they faced same thing, but till now..i choose to follow his "flow". i just donno.even its broke my heart, but somehow..i still have some hope to my relationship.deep down me, i still believe in him.i can feel a kind, honest, loving person in him. these hold me to stay wit him no matter how harsh his words, no matter how im upset wit his "girlfrens". i know that i cant expect him to be or to act the same way as i a person dat loves something for just one only.i like da same brand for my perfume, my clothes, my fav. movie,my handphone..i jus need one of everything.i dont need two. for me, if we had something more than 1, we tend to not appreciate them as much as if we jus had it one. and for dat, im comfortable wit jus one YOU. not interested to build some interest in other men. and again, i am aware dat my mike are not like this.and this upset me..(once again,,wat do i expect???)hehehe

hmmmmmmmmmm...i donno how to talk about this again. everytim i tried to discuss wit him, we will end up fighting and he would jus ignored me, fed up, and start to be so "cold" to me.sometimes i feels like im not da one he seems like his frens win, and im lose. jus like friend is more important to him than him really doesnt need me?anymore?

after i read da book, i always tried to give him his own space, try to accept dat he likes to have girl frens and im always trying. honestly, it's real hard.yup,..indeed. till now..i still cant feel good, or at least feels nothing when i read about "gedik2" comments from his girl frens. i am HURT. yes. HURT everytim. i would not do like that to him.but he did it.because dat is HIM, ..wat else shud i expect??dont u remember dat i got a soft-tender heart?

i really hope dat i do mean something to him..and please tell me dat i am. Try to be a good Martian, will you??

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Where is WOMBAT??

im in KL, and you r in somewhere in NSW..wombat where it is??is it so isolated and remote n my msg wasnt delivered to you...huhuhu..

yummy cherries...

hmm..i kind of missing "you" last message wasnt delivered to u..thats y i choose to write and message wit my frens so i wont be sad. He was arrived to WOMBAT this evening, i guess..and i donno where it is..i jus knoe is about 3-4hrs from NSW city and the telecom line not soo gud there.hope he safe and enjoy wit his frens..they actually go there for cherry picking. I was da one who asked him to join it. If not,he would be alone in NSW,witout doin nothing..thats make me more worry bout him...i hope you safe and back "in a piece" to sydney..see u in a month.. i have promised dat i'll be OK..
Wombat, take gud care of him..n his frens ..k..

trip to CH-Cameron Highland

it was on 30th of october,2010..hehe..bout a month ago. really love da cold-windy weather there.n its 'charming' strawberriess, beautiful-peace tea farm (but road to BOH tea farm is really small and dangerous..quite scarry.and i was REAL nervous walking up to the BOH tea centre)..n da flowers are blooming everywhere (especially roses..huhu..i want to see it everyday,wish to hav a garden full of roses..=)),even the normal small grass flower in my place growth so big and "healthy" there, and one more thing.the mornin glory..which shud be "glory" during mornin, is blooming and 'glory' from morning to gudness.wish i were born there.hahaa..but surely certainly want to go back there one day..wit "you" and his d90.its gonna be awesome with cool pictures right??hmm..when we were there,we stayed an apartment,da owner is so kind to offer lower price for us.actually he is da father of my sister's,dats y we got "discount"..hhehe..its really comfortable to be in his apartment.wish i can buy a apartment at CH too..heeheh..too many wishes la cik ilani kn...??hahaha..myb its can be consider in my retirement plan...hakahakahk.em..btw..i luv the name 'CH"..hehe..till we meet again..i luv CH.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


people used to said dat when u r working, there's no time to enjoy..or no life
yup..lesser time to enjoy make fun with frens
but this is the real life..i hav reached da destination for my education.dis is wat we all struggling for before..hope i can do it with heart coz i dont hav da heart of working now...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........tired.but.donno wat the best.need to accept it...= =

Thursday, August 5, 2010

what "he" said

last nite he said--
"from morning till night, may your birthday be bright..."
ok. so now..the brightness is fading away as the nite came by.

hate discussing wit him as he feels asleep..very unsensitive..mean.
i know im not rich as he is..dont look down on trying to be there at where "u"..and always trying."u"just dont appreciate it.this is all i hav..undying hopes..why cant you jus APPRECIATE. u da one who needs the bright and the light..not me

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

moving a car..hahahaha

yuppy..appa yeapp yeapp..

first time after 3 years of not "touching" the "stereng"..i made the car move again.=)
bit nerves at first but...the next thing is very exciting...ohh forgot to mention,,jus an auto car..hahahaa

wat ever la..jnji epy, kn???jgn langgar bus lg yerk..=p

***when can i hav my own car??a white one....someday.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

another trial

Just came back from perak yesterday..and the day after tmoro i hav to be on the road again..for another trial to be employed..=(..actually it's jus a training, a month working skill training back in JB.It will start in i'll be in utm for the whole puasa...if im accepted la..lots of my money has gone for the time,my effort and HOPE..still no sign of brighter future-

i dont know what GOD hav plan for me..i still wish for the best..

..reality bites. Yes it does sometime.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The differences Between Us

i dont fit into ur world...
ur family, ur frens, ur environment
not comfortable i guess
but, at least i hope for one thing
i fit in ur heart
it also not a solid assure.

Friday, July 23, 2010

life unexpected

what do i expect for??

i made my plan..but it's back to ALLAH to give " the approval"

what ever the "plan" You have for me, i wish it's a destiny to make me a wiser follower of ISLAM

i'm no good.never enough to settle.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Tomorrow..tomorrow and tomorrow

Another 5 days and i'll be completely becoming a two months-jobless-girl~sounds dats my hope is getting fade away..i dont know it real dat my destiny is not to be an engineer??huhh~~dats is out of my control,none of my plan is working well..know i start to love to be back in class once again..this monday im going to send an application for fellowship.with dat, im going to be a lecturer in ump,and im able to continue my dream to hav a master degree at unsw...and now i keep my hope once again on it..Allah..if that is my destiny..pls make it easy for me,,make all the application processes going smoothly..hopefully,insyAllah..

last few days, i heard a speech by Oprah Winfrey on a video in Youtube..the speech was very good..very inspiring..she did said that "if you not comfortable with something..not really love to do something..than dont settle yet..find what u really want in your life"..and i realized that all i want is dat i want to inspire people..i want to help them to live a better life and have a better hope for their future..but how im going to do that?????i dont think dat im able to do dis if i choose to be an engineer..still,,dun know~

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A brand new start....

welcome to my mind...please meet your new fren, BLOG..i'm certainly hapy with this..hehhe..thanks to fren who invited me..u know urself=)

its time to write what has been unwritten in my mind...<3